Friday food

But first, I have been remiss. An apology is due. Apparently yesterday, when I was busy yanking people's chains about the expected snowstorm, I greatly saddened JM by not including him, even though he's been known to--gasp!--swear at the snow! Even though we all know that I would NEVER engage in profanity, I agree with his fervent pleas to include him. He truly hates the snow. He's going to join the Peace Corps and go to Africa--no, really, he is, go read his blog--and the snow is driving him batty. So, RevMe, my deepest apologies. Feel free to swear at the snow anytime, and know that I will always smirk at you for doing so.

OK, then. Back on topic.

Recalcitrant.

That's how this book makes me feel:

This is the first cookbook I ever bought for myself, waaaaaaay back when. It immediately made me feel stupid. No. Stoooooopid. Because the recipes are laid out like this:

How lameass is that? Recipes are supposed to have all the ingredients listed above. Not scattered throughout the recipe. It's OK to have a few sentences before the ingredient list, explaining techniques or suggesting substitutions, but WTF? Mixing ingredients in with the instructions? C'mon. Those of us who do things BY THE BOOK have issues with this approach. I want my ingredients up front, so I can read them first. Don't lump it all together.

So when I was perusing my cookbook shelf and looking for something I hadn't cracked open in a while, I decided it was time to give Joy a try again. The above-mentioned Boeuf Bourguignonne (the name of which gave the Knit Think family much joy when trying to pronounce in our decidedly midwestern accents) seemed appropriate. I had stew meat in the freezer. I had red wine to marinate it in. I had shallots and peppercorns. So OK. Let's show this motha who's who.

The recipe recommends marinating the beef in red wine. So I did. Because I've done that before. Shit, it's easy and it's tasty. No sweat. The next day, I pulled the bowl of beef and wine out of the fridge and went back to the recipe. Then I hit the first obstacle.

See where it says, in bold font, thinly sliced blanched salt pork?

I had no salt pork. I don't even know what the hell that is. Somehow I never even noticed it in the ingredient list. Oh, wait--there is no ingredient list! That's why I didn't notice it!

Damn it.

Fortunately, the Grand Dames Rombauer provide a substitution: "You may substitute three tablespoons butter for the pork, but don't expect the same subtle flavor."

Guess they told me. A little attitude from my cookbook always makes me joyous, how about you?

Don't expect the same subtle flavor. Well. To hell with them. I will expect it.

So I melted my butter, a lot little extra for good measure. For extra subtle flavor. I sauteed the shallots, and worried, because the recipe suggests small onions BEFORE it mentions substituting shallots. Would that ruin my delicate flavor too? I was really getting myself in a state. But I had shallots, and I love shallots.

You know what my favorite shallot recipe is? It's in Martha Stewart's Entertaining book. You basically boil a bunch of shallots in a bunch of butter. Then salt them. See, good cooking isn't so hard.

The sauteed shallots. Sauteed in butter, not in salt pork. Thinly sliced blanched salt pork. Beef, browned in butter. But not salt pork. Beef, shallots, and the remaining wine marinade brought to a boil with water and poured over the beef and shallots, salt, peppercorns, bay leaf, and thyme. And placed in a low oven. For three hours. Without any salt pork.

But the Grand Dames have not totally bested me. At the very end of the recipe, which trails up onto the next column, they whisper something about adding sauteed mushrooms at the end of the cooking time. Ha, I say! I have mushrooms!

No f$%&ing salt pork, but mushrooms!

And egg noodles and parsley, to finish the whole thing off:

Bouef something or other. In a bowl. With mushrooms, shallots, parsley, and egg noodles. Very tasty indeed.

Although undoubtedly better with the subtle flavor of salt pork.

Comments

[Jess]

Everything is better with pork.

[Don]

Not that I've ever used f$%&ing salt pork, but Guinifer is right - bacon's the traditional substitute, though maybe use less because it's allegedly a stronger flavor. Unless, like me, you love bacon and that's not a problem.
If you ever want to up the ante (and the cuss factor), try a recipe from Julia Child's first cookbook with her French collaborators. I tried making her cassoulet last year. By the time I got into it over my head I wound up blending 3 different recipes, figuring a schizophrenic cassoulet was better than none at all.

[debra]

Yup, Joy of Cooking. The home of obscure ingredients and obtuse directions.

[Christy]

you know, Joy always bugged me, but I could never quite put my finger on it. I think you did - the lack of ingredients list. combined with obscure ingredients.

let us know if you ever find the salt pork for the next go-round

[Ruth]

That looks delicious. You know we do get snow in parts of Africa, so JM will need to choose carefully :)

[cindy]

I looove that cookbook! Not that I actually cook anything from it very often, but it's such a great read. At least if it's the edition that tells you how to skin a possum and preserve eggs in isenglass.

[bezzie]

Ok so like Joy of Cooking is like the Catcher in the Rye of cookbooks. Everyone's got a copy and people who like to appear educated (Catcher) or worldly cooks (Joy) actually brag how much they love Catcher or Joy.

Me? I'm over in the cookbook section doing my best never to buy a cookbook without lots of pictures. If it doesn't have pictures, I can't really use it.

I'm like reading the Harlequin Romances of cookbooks. Or maybe the Dr. Seusses...

[Guinifer]

Eh. Just use bacon.

How are you supposed to make your grocery lists when you make up your week's menus on Sunday? (snrk.)

[Chris]

Hmm, I have opened my JoC so infrequently, I can't remember what format the recipes are in - however, it's a more recent version which includes gluten-free cooking...

[Connie]

I got rid of my Joy cookbook. I couldn't stand the recipe layout. I never used it - I like my church cookbooks better as does Miss T! I have gone out to purchase ingredients and after getting 3/4 of the way through a recipe - discovered that I HAD to have something and HAD to either stop cooking or send someone else out to the store :( Quite the pain.

[Nora]

Snort. I had completely forgotten that little quirk of the Joy recipes... You know, Julia Child's the Way to Cook has a beouf borgathingummy recipe that includes not the lowly salt pork, but Lardons! Yeah, I never used those, either. Maybe a little bacon. Not the little onions, either. Following recipes is so overrated.

[Jeanne]

Looks yummy, but yes...drives me INSANE to not have an ingredients list at the beginning.

[revolutionme]

Phew. I feel appreciated, or at least sympathized with now. It really IS a mess out there, and it's REDIC that you folks aren't getting any of it.

[Miss T]

There is certainly a lot of cussing in this post for one who would never engage in profanity. But a salt pork deficiency will do that to a person.

Looks fabulous! Even with the butter!

[kate]

Anything with beef and noodles and red wine and mushrooms is always welcome in our home!!

so agree with you - can't stand it when the ingredients aren't all listed up front. You get halfway down the page and all of a sudden it says "Now add the diced bacon." Or whatever ingredient I don't have in my fridge at that moment.

Love how they "talked" down to their readers. Kind of like the dental hygienist talking to my son yesterday. "Well, that's OK (insert dubious you're dumb tone here) but not going to cut it." Yeah, belittling always makes people want to come back.

[Carole]

You really don't know what salt pork is?