Knit Think: Friday food

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip
That started from a British port
Aboard a monstrous ship.

The cap’n was a mighty sailing man,
The crew so brave and flip.
Two thousand plus set sail that day
On an unsinkable ship; on an unsinkable ship…

Time for a culinary history lesson, kiddies.

There it is, folks. The RMS Titanic, the pride of her day, the unsinkable centerpiece of the White Star Line, finding her way across a dark, cold ocean. A dark, cold ocean, which just happens to bear a resemblance to an Epicurean cutting board.

I got to visit the Titanic exhibit at the Science Museum recently--a fine, fine show, I highly recommend it--but you know, they're still trotting out that tired old conspiracy theory: an iceberg downed the unsinkable ship. Bad radio contact policies. Too few lifeboats. Blah, blah, blah. You really cannot listen to people who are so paranoid as to be scared of a block of ice, now, can you? Let me explore some other possibilities so as to help debunk these wackos.

It might have been a dinosaur.

There are those who would rule that out for silly reasons like different historical eras. Fine. Be like that.

Maybe it was a polar bear.

Pirates!

Or, possibly, giant human fingers lowering from the sky...

Or Hagrid.

Nah. Hagrid just looks scary. He wouldn't break a ship in half, no matter how arrogant the builders were.

So, having ruled out all these possibilities, it's clear what destroyed the Titanic:

Darth Vader: CAPTAIN SMITH! I AM YOUR FATHER! JOIN ME IN THE DARK SIDE, AND TOGETHER WE WILL RULE THE UNIVERSE! Or at least early 20th-century Earth.

Captain Smith: NOOOOOOOOOO! WHO WILL SAVE ME!

R2D2 saves the day!!!

Sorry, we couldn't find the Luke Skywalker/Princess Leia/Han Solo Lego people.

Huh. Maybe we're all on the wrong track. Maybe it's an entirely different scenario.

Looks harmless enough...but...

Sure, there's an iceberg in there, but you know what sank the ship with this one? The fact that it tasted like cough medicine. That's not a characteristic I like in my adult beverages.

Maybe this will be smoother sailing.

Hmm...that ocean's a bit murky, but the ship is still intact--

Or not. Now, there are some ships that would like this sweet drink, but not this seaworthy vessel.

It's time to go back to basics.

It might be a margarita glass, but the clearness of the ocean obviously shows gin and tonic. Even then, poor Titanic can't help but list to the right.

Nevertheless, given that the name of the ice cube tray set is Gin & Titonic, I think we have the answer.

Clearly, drinking and sailing is a dangerous game.

Hic.